At this point in my “get fit, lose weight, be healthy” journey, I am struggling to picture the end result. My goal seems so far away and at this point almost impossible to reach. There is a slight comfort knowing that I have been successful in the past, but what makes this time any different than all the others? I have tried over and over again to maintain a great body weight and all my attempts have failed. It’s almost as if I am afraid of being successful in this part of my life. Not being in great shape I can laugh at myself and make excuses for what I am the way I am. Once that is gone and over, what can I use as an excuse?
I am guessing that most of my fear in all this is living a boring life when it comes to food and exercise. I love food and I love trying new things, the same goes for exercise. Eventually, however, those things get boring and if I don’t figure out ways to get changing and improving, then I won’t stop this cycle of ups and downs. For instance, I love salads, I always have, but will I be ok eating lettuce for lunch every day from here on out?
The point of all my fears and questions is simple, I am barely into this “journey” of mine and already I am having doubts and getting a feeling of despair. It seems too early for this, but my past failures are haunting me and I can shake the overwhelming feeling that this will once again turn out the way it always has. History does tend to repeat itself.
When you don’t know something, you should just admit it. I don’t know what to do from here. I don’t know how to make this last. I don’t know if this time will be the “last” time. I don’t know how to gain more self control. I don’t know how to make better choices when the bad choices are so good. I don’t know if I can commit my entire life to being healthy. I don’t know if I can change my surroundings to give me a better chance at success. I don’t know if I have the passion for working out that I once did. I just don’t know….
I guess the first step is admitting all of that. I never thought that this would be easy, but it is turning out to be pretty hard and it’s only the beginning. I assume this will get harder before it gets easier, or maybe it will never get easier. Keeping with my motto from yesterday I just need to focus on one day at a time and don’t get swept away with the overarching goal.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
One day at a time
I am the type of person that tends to get frustrated when I am not successful at something. It can be a very small failure, but I take it and make it huge. If I mess up once, then I can’t seem to recover. I continue down a path of self destruction and feel like I have to climb the mountain all over again. My journey with becoming healthy and trying to lose weight is always like this. I start of by making over ambitious goals and get carried away for the first few weeks. Then I get bored or tempted with bad decisions and I have one bad day that turns into a bad week that turns into a bad month and so on. I wish that I could find a switch that would just make that go away.
I tell myself to take things one day at a time. Each morning is a new chance to make a change. If I have a bad day or even week, I need to move on and become stronger by learning from my failures, not reliving them. As much as I don’t want to make long term goals, I feel like it is a necessary evil. When I am looking towards the future, I need to see something that I want to attain. If it were a perfect world I would want to lose 20 pounds, but I know that would be something that I just am not sure is even possible for my body structure. I think if I can lose 15 pounds I might be able to live a healthy lifestyle and maintain a healthy weight. I don’t want to get to a point where I am starving myself only for the fact of being 20 pounds lighter. I still want to be strong and I still want to be healthy.
I am committing myself today to lose 15 pounds. As for a timeline, well, I just don’t know. I don’t want to limit myself or get off tract, so I will just say that 15 pounds is my goal and I will work hard until I reach that goal. I don’t care how long it might take me. I am putting this on my blog to make it public and known that I have a set goal. I have mentioned my goals on here and as you can see by my lack of writing, I haven’t exactly been dedicated to them. All I can say is, I am trying. I am not perfect, no matter how hard I might strive to be, and I know that I will slip up from time to time, but I want to be successful. I have done this before and then gotten back to where I am now. I know how to lose weight, but maintaining it is a different story. One step at a time, one day at a time. First things first, I need to lose the weight and get back into the shape I know I can be in. This is pretty challenging for me because I would not classify myself as fat or even overweight. According to my doctor I am in fact at a healthy weight for my height, but this will be more for my happiness. I know I can be in better shape and I am going to work to get there.
There is no magic pill or regimen that will make this easy. It’s pretty simple, eat less and better foods and exercise more. It’s will take a lot of hard work and commitment, and I am here to say that I am going to do it. Since I started the blog of my journey to becoming a healthy nut, I have lost about 5 pounds, so I know that it will work if I commit myself to it.
One day at a time…..
I tell myself to take things one day at a time. Each morning is a new chance to make a change. If I have a bad day or even week, I need to move on and become stronger by learning from my failures, not reliving them. As much as I don’t want to make long term goals, I feel like it is a necessary evil. When I am looking towards the future, I need to see something that I want to attain. If it were a perfect world I would want to lose 20 pounds, but I know that would be something that I just am not sure is even possible for my body structure. I think if I can lose 15 pounds I might be able to live a healthy lifestyle and maintain a healthy weight. I don’t want to get to a point where I am starving myself only for the fact of being 20 pounds lighter. I still want to be strong and I still want to be healthy.
I am committing myself today to lose 15 pounds. As for a timeline, well, I just don’t know. I don’t want to limit myself or get off tract, so I will just say that 15 pounds is my goal and I will work hard until I reach that goal. I don’t care how long it might take me. I am putting this on my blog to make it public and known that I have a set goal. I have mentioned my goals on here and as you can see by my lack of writing, I haven’t exactly been dedicated to them. All I can say is, I am trying. I am not perfect, no matter how hard I might strive to be, and I know that I will slip up from time to time, but I want to be successful. I have done this before and then gotten back to where I am now. I know how to lose weight, but maintaining it is a different story. One step at a time, one day at a time. First things first, I need to lose the weight and get back into the shape I know I can be in. This is pretty challenging for me because I would not classify myself as fat or even overweight. According to my doctor I am in fact at a healthy weight for my height, but this will be more for my happiness. I know I can be in better shape and I am going to work to get there.
There is no magic pill or regimen that will make this easy. It’s pretty simple, eat less and better foods and exercise more. It’s will take a lot of hard work and commitment, and I am here to say that I am going to do it. Since I started the blog of my journey to becoming a healthy nut, I have lost about 5 pounds, so I know that it will work if I commit myself to it.
One day at a time…..
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
No running for me yesterday
Day 24
Well, I didn’t run yesterday. I am not going to give an excuse; I just didn’t feel like running. My apartment was a complete disaster, so I decided that I would clean my apartment (spotless) instead. Cleaning can burn some calories and there is nothing that I love more than a freshly cleaned house! Something about the vacuum lines and the relaxing feeling over everything being put in their place!
That said, I probably won’t be running tonight either. I have my book club (this month was Hannah’s List – freaking loved it) and I know the motivation won’t be there for me. I do enjoy running, so I am somewhat at a loss or why I am trying to avoid it so much. I do think one of the main reasons for my lack of motivation to run is my increasing motivation to finish the Hunger Game series by Suzanne Collins. These books are phenomenal! I bought all three on my nook last Thursday and I only have about 100 pages to go on the last one! I would love to get a stationary bike or elliptical in my home at some point so I can just be on one of those while I read!
Anyway, the good news is I am eating healthy and still keeping up with the healthy breakfast. I am going to try my hardest to get a run in tomorrow, so no excuses then!
Sorry for the short read, but that’s what is going to happen when I actually have something to do at work and don’t follow through with my goals. Oops!
Well, I didn’t run yesterday. I am not going to give an excuse; I just didn’t feel like running. My apartment was a complete disaster, so I decided that I would clean my apartment (spotless) instead. Cleaning can burn some calories and there is nothing that I love more than a freshly cleaned house! Something about the vacuum lines and the relaxing feeling over everything being put in their place!
That said, I probably won’t be running tonight either. I have my book club (this month was Hannah’s List – freaking loved it) and I know the motivation won’t be there for me. I do enjoy running, so I am somewhat at a loss or why I am trying to avoid it so much. I do think one of the main reasons for my lack of motivation to run is my increasing motivation to finish the Hunger Game series by Suzanne Collins. These books are phenomenal! I bought all three on my nook last Thursday and I only have about 100 pages to go on the last one! I would love to get a stationary bike or elliptical in my home at some point so I can just be on one of those while I read!
Anyway, the good news is I am eating healthy and still keeping up with the healthy breakfast. I am going to try my hardest to get a run in tomorrow, so no excuses then!
Sorry for the short read, but that’s what is going to happen when I actually have something to do at work and don’t follow through with my goals. Oops!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Day 23
I can’t believe I have been doing this blog for 23 days now! It doesn’t seem like it has been that long. When I started this blog I said that I was not going to set any kind of weight loss goals. My mission is to leave a healthier life, not to get down to a size I can’t maintain. With that said, due to my lack of healthy living, it is only natural that I will lose some weight and become more fit. I have lost two pounds from when I weight myself (just over a week ago) and that is pretty good in my eyes.
I have been making a big effort to eat better and make good choices when I am “fueling” my body. I am still lacking in the exercise department. Typically, I go through a cycle of loving to work out and absolutely hating to work out. Right now, I am somewhere in the middle. A few weeks ago I hated working out. I had to force myself out the door and even then, just going through the motions. Once I get over this hump, I believe I will be able to get back into the spirit of working out.
The truth is, I love the feeling of working out. Regardless if I lose weight, I still feel so much better after a good week of working out. I have more energy, I am in a better mood, and I make better eating decisions. The main problem is, I just lose motivation. I have mentioned falling off the wagon several times and that is exactly what happens here. I get to a place I am happy with then I start telling myself, “Well, missing one workout won’t hurt.” Well that one workout turns into two, then three, then a week, then a month and before you know it I am back to hating working out and see it as the enemy.
The one thing I hate about the Midwest is the fact that the summers are just jam packed with things that need to get done. We have a pretty long winter and once the weather is nice, everything gets planned and before you know it September is here with warmer weather. I am not going to make an excuse, but the reality is, sometimes, there really isn’t time for a workout. There is always an extra 15 minutes to go for a run, sure, but for women especially, a workout consists of more than just the physical activity. I have the ability to get rather pretty quickly, but even so, it takes 20-30 minutes to look presentable to do anything out in public. So, even with a 15 minutes run, the entire workout routine comes to about 45-60 minutes.
I am finding new ways to work out that can be quick and maybe not so sweaty, so a simply wash off in the shower will do. This isn’t always the easiest thing to do, because at least for me, I think what is 10 minute strength training exercise going to do? A lot!
This week I am going to talk about running. I have always enjoyed running and would consider myself a casual runner. I have always wanted to try for a marathon, but I just lack the commitment it would take to get me there. Regardless of a marathon dream, I would at least like to become an avid runner. I think my goal would be to hit the road (or treadmill in the winter) for a good run at least 3-4 times a week. I don’t know a lot about good form for runner, how to increase your pace, how to increase you distance, or even how to build up your endurance, but I will learn.
This is a pretty short week, but my goal is to get my 3 runs in by Sunday. I am going for a run tonight and will report back on how that goes. I plan on keeping it pretty slow and getting one mile in so I can ease into my goal.
I can’t believe I have been doing this blog for 23 days now! It doesn’t seem like it has been that long. When I started this blog I said that I was not going to set any kind of weight loss goals. My mission is to leave a healthier life, not to get down to a size I can’t maintain. With that said, due to my lack of healthy living, it is only natural that I will lose some weight and become more fit. I have lost two pounds from when I weight myself (just over a week ago) and that is pretty good in my eyes.
I have been making a big effort to eat better and make good choices when I am “fueling” my body. I am still lacking in the exercise department. Typically, I go through a cycle of loving to work out and absolutely hating to work out. Right now, I am somewhere in the middle. A few weeks ago I hated working out. I had to force myself out the door and even then, just going through the motions. Once I get over this hump, I believe I will be able to get back into the spirit of working out.
The truth is, I love the feeling of working out. Regardless if I lose weight, I still feel so much better after a good week of working out. I have more energy, I am in a better mood, and I make better eating decisions. The main problem is, I just lose motivation. I have mentioned falling off the wagon several times and that is exactly what happens here. I get to a place I am happy with then I start telling myself, “Well, missing one workout won’t hurt.” Well that one workout turns into two, then three, then a week, then a month and before you know it I am back to hating working out and see it as the enemy.
The one thing I hate about the Midwest is the fact that the summers are just jam packed with things that need to get done. We have a pretty long winter and once the weather is nice, everything gets planned and before you know it September is here with warmer weather. I am not going to make an excuse, but the reality is, sometimes, there really isn’t time for a workout. There is always an extra 15 minutes to go for a run, sure, but for women especially, a workout consists of more than just the physical activity. I have the ability to get rather pretty quickly, but even so, it takes 20-30 minutes to look presentable to do anything out in public. So, even with a 15 minutes run, the entire workout routine comes to about 45-60 minutes.
I am finding new ways to work out that can be quick and maybe not so sweaty, so a simply wash off in the shower will do. This isn’t always the easiest thing to do, because at least for me, I think what is 10 minute strength training exercise going to do? A lot!
This week I am going to talk about running. I have always enjoyed running and would consider myself a casual runner. I have always wanted to try for a marathon, but I just lack the commitment it would take to get me there. Regardless of a marathon dream, I would at least like to become an avid runner. I think my goal would be to hit the road (or treadmill in the winter) for a good run at least 3-4 times a week. I don’t know a lot about good form for runner, how to increase your pace, how to increase you distance, or even how to build up your endurance, but I will learn.
This is a pretty short week, but my goal is to get my 3 runs in by Sunday. I am going for a run tonight and will report back on how that goes. I plan on keeping it pretty slow and getting one mile in so I can ease into my goal.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Weekly Update
Day 19
Well, another week over, another goal met. The kettle bell has proven to be a great form of exercise and is definitely a total body workout. I am still sore from this week’s exercises! I am going to continue working the kettle bell into my weekly routine and hope to see some real transformation soon.
It’s time for the weekly updates!
Soda – well, my fear came true. At the family reunion I went to last weekend, all we brought to drink was, you guessed it, soda. I would have had water, but all they had was tap water with no ice. I am typically not a water snob, but cool, not cold, water from the tap just didn’t sound good to me. I had one Diet Coke, but I am proud to say that I jumped right back on the wagon and have not had another soda since. The important lesson I learned here is just because I have one soda, doesn’t mean I have to continue down the path of drinking one every day. Every now and then a diet soda can be allowed. If I restrict it to the point that I am deprived, then I will fall off the wagon and begin drinking it again. The key is moderation and I think I can handle that!
Breakfast – I am proud to say that I have had a good, healthy breakfast everyday! All in all, I feel great in the mornings, have a lot more energy and don’t get hungry at 9 am every day. I want to work out getting up a little earlier so I can get into work early, but even when I don’t have “time” I still make sure that I am getting a good breakfast in.
Obviously the kettle bells have been a success this week and while I won’t be doing the workouts I described consistently every week, I will definitely be doing some version of them every week. Whether it is be an ab exercise incorporated into a daily workout, or something like that, the kettle bell has definitely proven itself to me and I am a huge supporter!
I wouldn't really call myself an avid runner, but I do enjoy the workout that I get with running. Next week, that will be my topic. I have always wanted to be "runner" and hopefully this will give me some motivation to pick it up again and make some progress!
Have a good weekend, everyone!! Talk to you again Monday!
Well, another week over, another goal met. The kettle bell has proven to be a great form of exercise and is definitely a total body workout. I am still sore from this week’s exercises! I am going to continue working the kettle bell into my weekly routine and hope to see some real transformation soon.
It’s time for the weekly updates!
Soda – well, my fear came true. At the family reunion I went to last weekend, all we brought to drink was, you guessed it, soda. I would have had water, but all they had was tap water with no ice. I am typically not a water snob, but cool, not cold, water from the tap just didn’t sound good to me. I had one Diet Coke, but I am proud to say that I jumped right back on the wagon and have not had another soda since. The important lesson I learned here is just because I have one soda, doesn’t mean I have to continue down the path of drinking one every day. Every now and then a diet soda can be allowed. If I restrict it to the point that I am deprived, then I will fall off the wagon and begin drinking it again. The key is moderation and I think I can handle that!
Breakfast – I am proud to say that I have had a good, healthy breakfast everyday! All in all, I feel great in the mornings, have a lot more energy and don’t get hungry at 9 am every day. I want to work out getting up a little earlier so I can get into work early, but even when I don’t have “time” I still make sure that I am getting a good breakfast in.
Obviously the kettle bells have been a success this week and while I won’t be doing the workouts I described consistently every week, I will definitely be doing some version of them every week. Whether it is be an ab exercise incorporated into a daily workout, or something like that, the kettle bell has definitely proven itself to me and I am a huge supporter!
I wouldn't really call myself an avid runner, but I do enjoy the workout that I get with running. Next week, that will be my topic. I have always wanted to be "runner" and hopefully this will give me some motivation to pick it up again and make some progress!
Have a good weekend, everyone!! Talk to you again Monday!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Lower Kettle Bell Work Out Update
Day 18
HOLY HAMSTRINGS!!! Wow, was the kettle bell workout yesterday a tough one! My hamstrings are super sore and the culprit was the one legged dead lifts. Those were super tough and it was a total body workout. In fact, most of the exercises I did yesterday were a total body workout. I think that is my favorite thing about kettle bells. Even though you are targeting a specific muscle group, you are working your entire body.
I was going to go to hot yoga yesterday after my workout, but I just couldn’t make it happen. I worked up quite a sweat with the lower body workout and I could feel the weakness in my muscles, so I decided it probably wasn’t a good idea to overdo it.
Often times I find that my problem is, in fact, over doing it. I wear myself out to the point of exhaustion, and then lose all interest in working out. I need to start listening to my body. I am still at the point where I have to force my workouts, for the most part. I haven’t gotten to the place where I enjoy working out again. I know that it will come so patience is the key.
I know I mentioned this last time with the upper body update, but I love that I can get such a great workout in less than 30 minutes. I usually use lack of time as an excuse for my lack of workout. This can no longer be an excuse when you great options like this in your back pocket.
The great thing is, I can cut this down ever further if I only had 15 minutes to spare. I just need to get in the habit of doing some sort of physical activity every day. Even if that is sit ups during commercials. Working out doesn’t have to be hard, but I find that most people are afraid of working out, because they just don’t know the right way to do it. This will be a discussion for another week, but it’s a revelation that I have.
Other than hot yoga, I have been working out in my home of hitting the pavement for my runs. I mostly do this to avoid the gym. I have a complex that people are looking at me at the gym and judging me as a run on the treadmill or pick up the 5 pound weight for my bicep curls (I have a very week upper body). That is why I so enjoy yoga. They call it practice for a reason. Everyone in the studio is there for themselves. There is no competition and the poses can be modified for all levels of students. I typically try to push for a level above what I am due to my natural completive nature, but I push for myself, not because the person next to me is better. It is a no judgment environment and I love that!
Ok, enough on that. Again, that will be a whole week of blog posts, but I just wanted to get that out there!
Well, that is it for the day. Tomorrow I will give a full update on the previous goals and there is one in particular that I am a little disappointed with, just a little teaser. The good news is, I am back on track so no worries!!
HOLY HAMSTRINGS!!! Wow, was the kettle bell workout yesterday a tough one! My hamstrings are super sore and the culprit was the one legged dead lifts. Those were super tough and it was a total body workout. In fact, most of the exercises I did yesterday were a total body workout. I think that is my favorite thing about kettle bells. Even though you are targeting a specific muscle group, you are working your entire body.
I was going to go to hot yoga yesterday after my workout, but I just couldn’t make it happen. I worked up quite a sweat with the lower body workout and I could feel the weakness in my muscles, so I decided it probably wasn’t a good idea to overdo it.
Often times I find that my problem is, in fact, over doing it. I wear myself out to the point of exhaustion, and then lose all interest in working out. I need to start listening to my body. I am still at the point where I have to force my workouts, for the most part. I haven’t gotten to the place where I enjoy working out again. I know that it will come so patience is the key.
I know I mentioned this last time with the upper body update, but I love that I can get such a great workout in less than 30 minutes. I usually use lack of time as an excuse for my lack of workout. This can no longer be an excuse when you great options like this in your back pocket.
The great thing is, I can cut this down ever further if I only had 15 minutes to spare. I just need to get in the habit of doing some sort of physical activity every day. Even if that is sit ups during commercials. Working out doesn’t have to be hard, but I find that most people are afraid of working out, because they just don’t know the right way to do it. This will be a discussion for another week, but it’s a revelation that I have.
Other than hot yoga, I have been working out in my home of hitting the pavement for my runs. I mostly do this to avoid the gym. I have a complex that people are looking at me at the gym and judging me as a run on the treadmill or pick up the 5 pound weight for my bicep curls (I have a very week upper body). That is why I so enjoy yoga. They call it practice for a reason. Everyone in the studio is there for themselves. There is no competition and the poses can be modified for all levels of students. I typically try to push for a level above what I am due to my natural completive nature, but I push for myself, not because the person next to me is better. It is a no judgment environment and I love that!
Ok, enough on that. Again, that will be a whole week of blog posts, but I just wanted to get that out there!
Well, that is it for the day. Tomorrow I will give a full update on the previous goals and there is one in particular that I am a little disappointed with, just a little teaser. The good news is, I am back on track so no worries!!
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